[ Yes boyfriend, we have those things for a reason and for communication purposes that might be able to help us out.
But ... he looks down. ]
I wish I knew what to say to that ... because I know how that feels. And I haven't quite found the way out of it, because it seems like there is none for me, either. For us. And that sort of feeling ... is the worst. Of having no escape.
But outside you-- and so many other people have told me that you're sure it'll get better eventually. That we'll find a way out of it. It's still hard to believe, so I know those words alone won't do much here. But knowing you have people on the outside who will support you and believe in you, and maybe even help you themselves ... it can't help but make you feel something.
And I know even that can still lack to an extent. But ... all you can do is keep going, because if you don't, then you really will stay trapped. Use that bitterness, that anger as your fuel to keep doing what you'll always do, and keep making choices-- the choices you'll always make regardless of what she does with them. Maybe something won't line up with what she needs or wants, and that'll be a key. They're maybes, but ... all you can do when you feel truly trapped is keep striking the bars of the cage with all of that fueled anger until they either give or it kills you. And you don't just let yourself be killed so easily.
[ He keeps trying to focus his power on the room as well. That the right paths-- the truly right paths are hard to find because they seem like they all lead to the same things, the same feelings of being trapped. But there are so many of them and you can only see so far ahead. To keep going, no matter how repetitive it gets at least lets you keep moving, and keep searching until you're on the path you were searching for, or one that even slightly diverges from the rest that will lead you there. ]
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2015-02-03 06:21 am (UTC)But ... he looks down. ]
I wish I knew what to say to that ... because I know how that feels. And I haven't quite found the way out of it, because it seems like there is none for me, either. For us. And that sort of feeling ... is the worst. Of having no escape.
But outside you-- and so many other people have told me that you're sure it'll get better eventually. That we'll find a way out of it. It's still hard to believe, so I know those words alone won't do much here. But knowing you have people on the outside who will support you and believe in you, and maybe even help you themselves ... it can't help but make you feel something.
And I know even that can still lack to an extent. But ... all you can do is keep going, because if you don't, then you really will stay trapped. Use that bitterness, that anger as your fuel to keep doing what you'll always do, and keep making choices-- the choices you'll always make regardless of what she does with them. Maybe something won't line up with what she needs or wants, and that'll be a key. They're maybes, but ... all you can do when you feel truly trapped is keep striking the bars of the cage with all of that fueled anger until they either give or it kills you. And you don't just let yourself be killed so easily.
[ He keeps trying to focus his power on the room as well. That the right paths-- the truly right paths are hard to find because they seem like they all lead to the same things, the same feelings of being trapped. But there are so many of them and you can only see so far ahead. To keep going, no matter how repetitive it gets at least lets you keep moving, and keep searching until you're on the path you were searching for, or one that even slightly diverges from the rest that will lead you there. ]