thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

Heart Game (Continued)

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Of course something can be done. But letting her win would hurt you just as much as abandoning them. You're too smart not to realize that. So shouldn't it be done on your own terms?

Defeat her first. Deal with the problems that are in front of you now. Then if you must help them, you can do it later. When it's safe. When there's time. You'll find a way.

....

Not sure I can.

She's been controllin' the whole fuckin' game board.

Not the whole board. There are yet things to come, that even she doesn't know about.

And what pieces are those?

You'll find out in time. Though in a sense, you should already know.

Suffice to say, there are forces out there more powerful than that witch.

I know that.

That's her boss, comin' to kill us all. After making us do whatever he wants us to do and probs killin' Callie.

No. Forces other than him. Ones just as destructive...and others still who are misguided, but benevolent.

These are all out of her control. It may not seem like it at first, but they will give you the chance you need. You just have to be patient.

...of course.

[Oh, that's a sneer. Who knew Roxy could actually sneer.]

Just be patient. It'll work out. Just like always.

Well, you've already made it clear that you intend to sit around in jail until the universe ends. So how can you expect to be anything but patient?

I'm waiting for a solution that's ACTUALLY A SOLUTION instead of pissing off dog girl pointlessly.

So you won't let yourself be reassured to wait, but you won't risk taking matters into your own hands. I didn't know Roxy was such a helpless person! Weren't you the one who was going to drain every drop of her filthy blood? If you'd rather give up this easily, you might as well just do whatever she asks and save yourself some effort.

[She grits her teeth.]

I wasn't supposed to be helpless! I was supposed to be strong nuff to win this fucked up game, but she's been in control of everything for so long, I can't just HALF ASS shit and hope to win!

Well congratulations, right now you aren't even doing that much!

[DEEP BREATH. Dying repeatedly was so, so much easier than this. This is the absolute worst room for Fade, she doesn't know what it wants from her.]

...I don't know what you expect me to say. You have a lot of ideas about what you're "supposed" to be, and yet here you are...already convinced yourself that you're out of options. So what else can I say? I could tell you it isn't over yet. It isn't even close. I could tell you that have more options than you realize. I could remind you of what you've already survived. I could even tell you how powerful you really are, if it would help.

But you don't really want to listen to any of that, do you? You don't want to do anything but be angry right now. So go ahead. Be angry. Be angry at her, at me, at yourself.

But you still have to decide. Even if you want to give up, that is a decision only you can make. It won't ever be easy. It won't ever...be fair. But it will be the right choice, if it's the one you chose.

[Hello hearty ping. Amazing how much rage blinds us to options, isn't it? Especially when we don't know how to deal with it.]

Even if I get people killed? Even if my own spitefulness dooms others just because I have to be angry?!

I can't do it. I can't being nice and kind, but being angry always...it ALWAYS....it's a horrible feeling and what sorta hero feels stuff like this?!

Edited 2015-02-11 18:18 (UTC)

I don't know. I'm not a hero at all. I can't begin to tell you what one should be like.

But I do know what it's like to be angry. And I'm telling you that you can use it. It is a weapon like any blade. It can cause pain...or it can defend what's important. But if you want it to do any good at all, you have to take control of it. And that's something only you can do.

Control of it?

That's right. Make it your own. Don't try and deny that it exists...it does. It's a part of you. And it can be something to focus you, if you accept it. Don't let it cloud your eyes...let it simply show you what is important.

Anger is more honest than kindness.

...why?

Why it is more honest?

...because...you can learn kindness. You can train yourself in it. Hide behind it. Kindness can be a lie so easily. ...too easily.

Anger is never a lie. It's not a choice. It's a reaction. It can be buried, hidden away...you can reject it or control it. But you don't choose it.

...

Heh.

Didn't realize people had such a hard time with kindness. I thought it was just...natural.

It's not. It's...easier, for some people than for others. But people are too often selfish...and cruel.

Kindness has to be learned. It has to be taught.

....I wonder who taught me.

I'm just....I'm so MAD about everything. None of it's FAIR. It's not like I wanted a lot. My family, a few friends, just allowed to live something like a normal life.

But I wasn't even allowed to feel safe.

Where did I even learn to be kind....?

...I don't know. You had your friends...you had your...mother. In a way. Maybe it was through them. Maybe it was something else...I don't know.

But I know that you have every right to be mad. You deserve to be mad. Because it wasn't fair. It wasn't right, none of it.

There is no shame in your rage.

...even if I hurt people who don't deserve it?

Yes. Even then.

Mistakes happen. You can hurt people even if you are always kind.

But that's what I mean by controlling it. The same rage that can hurt someone innocent will also make you strong against those who do deserve it. If you only learn how to use it.

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

I HAVE ICONS AGAIN, LET'S BACKTAG THIS MOFO

WOOT WOOT

/o/

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