thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

Heart Game (Continued)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

More things you've learned? Or are trying to learn, about certain people? Or, maybe just the more frustrating ones.

If it's a secret or something you'd rather not say outloud, though, it's okay.

Just...

The frustrating ones. And the scary ones.

Yeah ... trying to figure people out is hard sometimes, especially when they try to hide a lot of the real things.

Why are you sitting all the way out here?

[She gestures out to the void.]

Makes it easier to think if I sit out here.

I guess I can see why, to some extent.

...

Sometimes it takes a while, to get to understand someone you've never met anybody else like. Everything's new, and different, certain things that fit with so many people suddenly don't with others, and it gets confusing, because you thought you were starting to figure it out and then it seems all wrong.

Not to mention, there's always a bit of a tough balance, between giving, receiving that sort of understanding, that sort of support. Especially when you throw words like pity and sympathy and 'like glass' in there. Do you know what I mean?

The void is peaceful. Only natch, it's my aspect.

[She...she actually laughs. A bit bitterly.]

Like I've never met.

The ones who give me the most trouble are the most like people I know. That's why I know they need help, I can see it.

And kind of, but that's why....why I try to open up to 'em, but it never works out.

I wouldn't say never ... even though I know a couple of those cases are too late to do anything more with for now.

Hm ... can I ask you something though?

What is it?

Giving Zelos what he needs without breaking him, Hal's barriers, Sapphire hurting, Technic being a lot like you, only a lot more stubborn when it comes to ever even admitting to himself that he might need, what are the reasons you want to understand and reach out to them?

Isn't that obvs?

Well, yeah. But sometimes it's still a good thing to say it anyway.

Lots of reasons.

It's the right thing to do, everyone deserves help, everyone deserves to not feel alone, makes me happy to help. Those are most of the reasons.

They're my friends makes me more determined 'cause usually friendship happens at some point.

[Pause.]

Sometimes...I see how people act. And it's familiar. It's...it's what I know.

And I know how miserable it is, and I dun want that for 'em.

Do you think they see it in you, too? And want to help you in the same way?

Some see it. Others are blind to it.

I'm....never sure why people want to help me specifically.

I'd say it's for the same reason you want to help them. Because they like you, they want to be your friend, and some see parts of you in them, too.

But ... sometimes that can be scary to face. When you realize how similar you are to someone you want to help, but it's something that you're scared to face, to accept or embrace. And then you realize that contradiction in yourself, and pull away. They might ask themselves that, too, 'why does somebody want to help me specifically'? And then that turns into an opposing force, where you want to help somebody that you know all too well, but would back away if the tables were turned.

[She frowns.] Is it really that scary? To have someone understand? I mean, yeah, it's scary to face, but if there's someone who understands...

Always seemed less scary then.

It's never scary to have someone understand. But to want to help and be there for someone when you question whether you deserve, or maybe try to avoid the same can make things confusing.

And, like those words on the wall said ... you don't want to be pitied, and it's easy to take things that way, when someone reaches out to you and you're confused enough already. "I want to help this person because I know how horrible those feelings can be, but I feel pitied when people make me feel like I'm made of glass. So am I doing the same thing to them somehow, unintentionally?"

I won't pull back from you, though, if you ever try to reach out and open up to me. I'll do my best to let you know what I need, too. And hope I don't make you feel like glass. I don't want to do that to anybody.

[She paused, looking down at the book. She doesn't respond at first, mulling it over.]

I guess I did always stop a few steps 'fore other peeps, huh?

I...think I could believe that from you. At least...from how you treat Castling.

It's a bit of working both ways, together. So it's not always you. It just ... depends, on who a person is, why they're a little tougher to feel like you're making progress with. But I think as long as you're honest with your feelings and your intentions ... it'll work out, eventually. If someone wasn't worth the trouble, I think you'd be able to tell, so wouldn't bother.

... but, I'm glad you believe in me! I believe in you, too. And it's like I told you in another place ... things like this can be frustrating, but you've learned so much and came so far already, so hopefully that can balance things out a little. As long as you're honest ... I'll listen. But I'll always listen, no matter what, just in case there's something I need to catch onto.

I dun think I've met a person who wasn't worth the trouble. At least, anyone I started with. [FUCK the Batterwitch and spidertroll from the start.]

Though, the honesty thing might be hard. Still kind of an Ordeal with that. [Sheepish smile.]

Then I'll do my best to try to help despite that. And try to help you bring it out more. But I won't give up or turn away. I promise.

...you really don't do the pity thing much, do you?

I think there's a big difference, between pity and compassion, sympathy, concern. But a lot of people mistake them for each other easily. I feel a lot of those other things ... strongly, for the people I care about.

...feelings are p hard to read.

[Nods.] True, true.

...do you let them? Help you?

I try my best to, if people reach, if they ask. And I do my best to try to ask and reach back myself, if I need it. But ... it can be a little hard here, sometimes, depending on how I feel, and what I need to help it. Not everybody can offer the same sort of help, you know? But I try to find something close to it, if I can't find what I need, because that helps sometimes, too.

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE

Re: RAGE