thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

Heart Game (Continued)

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No - that isn't what I meant. It wasn't your fault, Roxy.

I was right there.

I should have been able to help.

No, it isn't your fault. I know it hurts, but... Please don't blame yourself.

I knew the most. I was waiting, getting ready to act so when shit went down. I was right there, I know how to handle utter chaos, and crowd control, and all of it.

I would have made a DIFFERENCE.

Even if you could have acted differently... The blame isn't all yours.

Part of you told me before that you're afraid to die.

Well, I would prefer to return to the void, but Vetoed went and made that not an option.

...If our positions were reversed and I asked you to do this to me, would you?

I realize there are worst things than death.

[At least this part of Roxy could. '-']

And you swear this is what you really want? You aren't just acting thoughtlessly? I need you to say something that will convince me beyond a doubt.

Thoughtlessly?

Don't you know me at all?

It was not meant as an insult. I just know that you must be missing memories still. It isn't hopeless.

[using her powers to try and give her a feeling of hope]

[She's fighting. There's some faint hope from the bands, but whatever SHE is, is pretty resistant.]

I've THOUGHT about it. I've gone through the scenarios. The simplest solution, the simplest fucking one, means the memory shouldn't fucking EXIST anymore because the me who went through it wouldn't exist anymore! So John's probably dead too!

The ring is in Her Imperious Condescension hands and I. Can't. Beat. HER! I'm not a combat class and she can hurl planets, and going against her is heroic! More than that, she was prepared to DEAL with my powers 'cause she wanted to use me!

And even if I got the ring, I'd need Jane's corpse, and get her de-brainwashed and gog fucking knows I've been EXCELLENT with that! And that's if she didn't fall into the fucking lava that was two feet away!

Even if Dave was alive, that would just make a Doomed Timeline, and it wouldn't fix a damned thing for me, I'd still be alone!

I know it seems dire. It may very well be that way. But don't you think it's too early to give up completely? If you remember everything and it turns out you were right... Then I'm sorry, I truly am. But I can't do what you're asking of me without that certainty.

[she keeps pushing, determined to make roxy believe in her, and believe that there's hope]

And if it does become a certainty? Would you do it then?

You know there are other options for you in that case, don't you? You could come home with one of us.

I don't want to.

We were born together. We were meant to grow up together, to win together, they were my reason for living, to keep going in spite of everything.

I wanted to understand what life was like for Jane. I wanted to go on adventures with Jake. I wanted Dirk and I to figure out how to be something resembling socially competent together. I wanted to give Callie an actual hug. I wanted to see my mom, wanted to understand the bond I felt to someone I never met.

It doesn't feel right, going on without them.

I know it's hard, and I know it isn't fair. It should never have happened. But you're strong, I know you are. You'll find new reasons. I believe in you.

[pushing even harder with her powers]

[Those bands are responding, expanding on her body, but she's still determined.]

Believe in me?! New reasons?! Why do I have to keep hopin' on...on such GENERIC platitudes?!

When is the universe gonna give PROOF!

I'm sorry if you think it's generic, but it's true. I do believe in you. If you want proof, though...

[stepping forward to hug her]

If you wish it, I won't leave this place without you. I will wait until you can accompany me home. I would wager several others would make you the same offer.

[Wait what.]

...what 'bout fiancee boy? Would be makin' him wait an awful long time.

I don't mind. Furthermore, I think he would understand, even if he was aware of the passing of time. My sister would, too.

...stupid. They're important to you. You should go back to them.

And I will. I'm not saying that I will give up on that. But I'm not going to leave a friend behind if she needs me, either.

....why? Why do you care?

Not even that good of a friend.

[The hope is flicering, the rage giving.]

That isn't true at all. You helped me trust myself more, though I don't think you realized it then. I should thank you for that once more.

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