[ He goes quiet again. Letting his eyes shut and trying to lose himself in sleep - but that doesn't come. ]
I know. Okay? I'm all too aware. I've had to deal with myself more than anyone ever should. I know all of my flaws and shortcomings. I've had a long time to uselessly ruminate over it here.
...wait, seriously? You dun want him around? Or are you saying he talked himself into it, 'cause I think I'm gonna have to get that out of him 'fore I believe it. [Rose wanted to see her.]
No. I'm saying that he wants me around, when he really fucking shouldn't. Whatever altme did to him, but that kid thinks a lot of awful shit is normal and takes comfort in people being awful to him so long as they have a reason.
Not really. [ Long, quiet sigh. ] I won't talk a lot about it. That's his deal, his damage to share. But I fucked him up bad. Pretty sure whatever went down wasn't dissimilar to the Jake situation, but whereas Brobot was a more extreme version of something he wanted, it was just straight up child abuse. Apparently, that's my idea of teaching the kid the ropes of being a Strider.
Hmmmm. Still dun think it counts. Seems like a bad road to go down, taking all the mistakes and such from our alternates. Starts....blinding you and stuff.
And, I mean, you can be better than that if ya know what to watch for.
Maybe. But I know there's a lot of shit that went down in our group of friends that wasn't my fault, that Jake's also a big dumb tool that doesn't consider other people's feelings more'n half the time, Jane keeps to herself until she explodes, and you like to play all that hurt close to your chest and take care of us to forget about it. I just know my flaws and how they fit into it, and I know I'm probably dangerous.
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[ There's the slightest strain to his voice. ]
Can we stop talking about this. Please.
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[The worst part is she does. She doesn't want to push and hurt him, but wasn't her NOT pushing part of why things got so bad?]
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I know. Okay? I'm all too aware. I've had to deal with myself more than anyone ever should. I know all of my flaws and shortcomings. I've had a long time to uselessly ruminate over it here.
[ He brings a hand up to cover his face. ]
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It's not you have flaws.
It's you're still likable and perfectly able to be a good friend despite 'em.
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[ He pinches the bridge of his nose. ]
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...when was the last time you slept?
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[ ......... ]
Last night. [ LIE LIKE THE WIND DIRK ]
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[....]
Okay, you either lyin', or you're counting like a ten minute cat nap.
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[ Ok, well, technically Bro Strider. ]
Maybe it was the night before.
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...uh huh. And can your body actually maintain that without hearty abilities?
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[ ......... ]
Probably.
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[Surely Dave wanted to see him?]
...so no.
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And, I mean, you can be better than that if ya know what to watch for.
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Also, I think you need to take more regular naps. Lot harder to keep up your spirits if you're dead on your feet.
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[ But sleep.
He really doesn't like sleep. ]
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Tags this post back months late
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