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thevoidsdarkhorseSignificant Negative: Old enough to be food.
So it's a memory based upon the fact hungry Carapacians will eat literally ANYTHING (like uranium) when hungry enough, and how Roxy views them as a threat when cornered by a group she sees as hungry. She sees them as dangerous. However, she's not going to have anything since money isn't really a thing. So there's really one way to gain food by attacking her.
Roxy is five in this memory. It's really late and she can't sleep, so she ventures out of her house into the Carapacian Neighborhood. It's at night, but there's some lightening to the sky that says dawn isn't TOO far off. She continues to walk, feeling excited. She isn't used to seeing the neighborhood so empty, she's always have someone watching her.
She ventures farther and farther, not lost, just excited to see more. Eventually the buildings around her change, from mostly white to darker colors. The buildings all have the same angular structure, just darker.
Eventually Carapcians start to stir, and they're surprised to see her. She's just smiling and waving and not understanding why some seem so tense. She also notes that there's pretty much only black ones here, which is odd, there's more of a mix near her home.
She continues on and turns a corner and there's just a group of them there. They all have weapons, but she isn't afraid of them. She waves and wonders why they seem so fidgety. There weren't any rockets in the air. She approaches.
One swings at her head. Roxy manages to dodge and realizes something is wrong. She runs and they pursue her. She's heading for home and she gets pretty far before one manages to grab her leg and BITES her leg. She manages to kick them to get them to let go, hard enough to crack the shell and damaging an eye, because she's still strong. Still, she would have died if a group of white and black Carapacians didn't come to rescue her. The black ones hold off the attacking group with the white ones carrying her off. They're ones she recognizes from near her home.
She's crying and scared and doesn't understand what happened. The Carapacians have always been kind to her and took care of her, she doesn't know why they'd attack her. She's brought home and the white Carapacian who lives next to her brings her inside. She's the one who usually helps Roxy, so this is normal.
She helps Roxy take care of her injury. (Doesn't take care of it, helps Roxy do it.) And she explains to Roxy what happened.
There's very little food in the Neighborhood. Most everyone was starving in one way or another. When Carapacians are hungry, they will eat most anything to give nutritional value save for each other. And unfortunately, Roxy is 'not one of them.'
They usually resist though because Roxy is a Player. Roxy is still confused on the Player concept, but she knows it's a thing they address her as. Those of Prospit, the white ones, are always in support of the players. They are to help them win the game, even if they know the war is pointless. The white ones have programming where they can't bring themselves to harm her. However, the black ones of Derse don't have that. While they do have dreamers and Roxy is one of theirs (another concept she doesn't understand yet), she is more of a mascot. Before the game starts, they don't WANT to hurt her. However, they are eventually going to need to stand against the Players, so it's harder for the black ones to resist harming her when they're desperately hungry.
Some have a harder time than others. The ones who attacked her had a harder time and couldn't resist. It's then Roxy realizes what happens. Why she was bitten. They were trying to EAT her.
She tells Roxy that the ones near her are safe, they are strong enough to not hurt her, but it would be unwise to leave the area without some white Carapaces to defend her.
Roxy understand this, thanks the Carapace for her help, and when she leaves, goes to cry in her room for a few hours. She knew she was different, she didn't belong, but she still loved the Carapacians, and the fact they would do that just proved how she would never belong, and how much that HURT.
However, when she calms down, she realizes that everyone around her was starving, while she had food. She had food stores in her basement. And because she was five, and hated suffering, she ended up dragging all her food outside. She spent the next few days just handing out food, feeding everyone. Until she realizes all her food is gone.
Only then does she realize the mistake. The place is too big. She can't feed them all and she had helped them for a little while, but now there was nothing else she could do. More than that, now she'd need to ask them for food.
She looks again, maybe there was food she missed, but then she finds a red gun. With a note.
'Never get rid of this.
-Mother.'
Seeing it as important, she played with the buttons until eventually a pumpkin appeared when she pulled the trigger. Food. She had food. and this time, she was going to be better with it!
THINGS FOR OTHERS TO NOTE
-The Carapacians do not speak verbally. It's some mix of body language and maybe some weird psychic thingy, but basically Roxy understands it, so others can understand what was being 'said' through her perspective.
-Roxy herself very rarely speaks verbally herself. Most of the sound she made was from her crying and making sounds, but not a lot of words. What words that do are stilted and weird to her.
-Carapacians are exoskeleton creatures, but have red blood.
-There is literally NO PLANTS OR ANIMALS ANYWHERE except for the pumpkin and canned food.
-She holds no anger at the Carapacians trying to eat her once she knows why, just feels bad for them.
-If someone whose not familiar with Roxy's home life, there is implications of a Regular Threat.
Break Down
-FIVE YEARS OLD.
-Walked off on my own when everyone was asleep.
-Don't know the dark patches of the Neighborhood and gosh everyone is twitchy.
-Find a gang and being friendly.
-SUDDENLY ATTACKED.
-Scared, scared, scared, don't understand.
-SAVED BY OTHER CARAPACIANS, of both colors, but white ones take me home.
-Brought home.
-Carapacians will eat basically everything except cannibalism when hungry and sadly she's not one of them.
-She is a Player.
-Prospits are white and they support the player and are not equipped to harm them.
-Derse are white and they see Players as mascots, but oppose when the game finally starts.
-So whites can avoid trying to eat her, but the black ones have a harder time.
-SO SOMETIMES BLACK ONES WANT TO EAT ME.
-This is terrible and feeling more like don't belong, BUT THEN FOCUS ON THEM ALL STARVING.
-Have supplies, but q-quickly gave away all my food, whoops.
-Find a gun with a note from mom.
-Gun can make food appear. =O
-Gotta be conservative, but yay, can do something.
Break Down
ROXY IS UNSURPRISED. She has bite scars and people starving make her nervous, she kind of...already guessed this might have happened. '-'
But it's still terrible to remember and it adds to her bitterness of her home life. It was ridiculously hard for NO GOOD REASON and the Carapacians didn't deserve to be starving all the time. She also has a death she doesn't want. GETTING EATEN ALIVE because that was a truckload of fear when she was bitten into and it's all pretty horrifying. Especially as she has more than one bite mark so this HAPPENED ANOTHER TIME. Good times, so much good times.
And it's terrible because...she really likes the Carapacians. She does have a lot of love and affection here and while there was some distance, it wasn't as strong as in later memories. This incident may have prompted her to pull away more because having things you care about try to hurt you was just too hard for a little girl to take. Especially in knowing all the black ones would turn against her one day.
BUT THERE IS ALSO THINGS ROXY IS GIVEN CONTEXT FOR. Carapacians are, indeed, part of the game. They are from Prospit and Derse. Why they live together on this place she...doesn't know. She's till not sure what planet they're ON, but it's not Derse, so who knows. Maybe Prospit? Maybe Skaia? WHO KNOWS, but she thinks wherever it is, this isn't a normal situation.
It does, however, explain a thing she's been wondering. She is referred to as a Player. Prospit Carapacians aren't programed to hurt Players. Little Roxy may not know meta talk, but current Roxy does. The Carapacians are NPCs for the Game. She was raised by NPCs. THIS IS WHY SHE CAN'T SEE NPCS AS NOT REAL, THIS IS HER ASSOCIATION.
So trauma and terrible things, good times.
It does say the kind of person she is. Roxy is able to forgive A LOT. The Carapacians were dangerous, but...it wasn't malice. It was desperate survival and she could understand that. Maybe she couldn't put it into words then, but she understood the concept. She couldn't hate them for just wanting to live.
+DNWING OF STARVATION THINGS.
+Sobbing at terrible things happening to NPCs.
So it's a memory based upon the fact hungry Carapacians will eat literally ANYTHING (like uranium) when hungry enough, and how Roxy views them as a threat when cornered by a group she sees as hungry. She sees them as dangerous. However, she's not going to have anything since money isn't really a thing. So there's really one way to gain food by attacking her.
Roxy is five in this memory. It's really late and she can't sleep, so she ventures out of her house into the Carapacian Neighborhood. It's at night, but there's some lightening to the sky that says dawn isn't TOO far off. She continues to walk, feeling excited. She isn't used to seeing the neighborhood so empty, she's always have someone watching her.
She ventures farther and farther, not lost, just excited to see more. Eventually the buildings around her change, from mostly white to darker colors. The buildings all have the same angular structure, just darker.
Eventually Carapcians start to stir, and they're surprised to see her. She's just smiling and waving and not understanding why some seem so tense. She also notes that there's pretty much only black ones here, which is odd, there's more of a mix near her home.
She continues on and turns a corner and there's just a group of them there. They all have weapons, but she isn't afraid of them. She waves and wonders why they seem so fidgety. There weren't any rockets in the air. She approaches.
One swings at her head. Roxy manages to dodge and realizes something is wrong. She runs and they pursue her. She's heading for home and she gets pretty far before one manages to grab her leg and BITES her leg. She manages to kick them to get them to let go, hard enough to crack the shell and damaging an eye, because she's still strong. Still, she would have died if a group of white and black Carapacians didn't come to rescue her. The black ones hold off the attacking group with the white ones carrying her off. They're ones she recognizes from near her home.
She's crying and scared and doesn't understand what happened. The Carapacians have always been kind to her and took care of her, she doesn't know why they'd attack her. She's brought home and the white Carapacian who lives next to her brings her inside. She's the one who usually helps Roxy, so this is normal.
She helps Roxy take care of her injury. (Doesn't take care of it, helps Roxy do it.) And she explains to Roxy what happened.
There's very little food in the Neighborhood. Most everyone was starving in one way or another. When Carapacians are hungry, they will eat most anything to give nutritional value save for each other. And unfortunately, Roxy is 'not one of them.'
They usually resist though because Roxy is a Player. Roxy is still confused on the Player concept, but she knows it's a thing they address her as. Those of Prospit, the white ones, are always in support of the players. They are to help them win the game, even if they know the war is pointless. The white ones have programming where they can't bring themselves to harm her. However, the black ones of Derse don't have that. While they do have dreamers and Roxy is one of theirs (another concept she doesn't understand yet), she is more of a mascot. Before the game starts, they don't WANT to hurt her. However, they are eventually going to need to stand against the Players, so it's harder for the black ones to resist harming her when they're desperately hungry.
Some have a harder time than others. The ones who attacked her had a harder time and couldn't resist. It's then Roxy realizes what happens. Why she was bitten. They were trying to EAT her.
She tells Roxy that the ones near her are safe, they are strong enough to not hurt her, but it would be unwise to leave the area without some white Carapaces to defend her.
Roxy understand this, thanks the Carapace for her help, and when she leaves, goes to cry in her room for a few hours. She knew she was different, she didn't belong, but she still loved the Carapacians, and the fact they would do that just proved how she would never belong, and how much that HURT.
However, when she calms down, she realizes that everyone around her was starving, while she had food. She had food stores in her basement. And because she was five, and hated suffering, she ended up dragging all her food outside. She spent the next few days just handing out food, feeding everyone. Until she realizes all her food is gone.
Only then does she realize the mistake. The place is too big. She can't feed them all and she had helped them for a little while, but now there was nothing else she could do. More than that, now she'd need to ask them for food.
She looks again, maybe there was food she missed, but then she finds a red gun. With a note.
'Never get rid of this.
-Mother.'
Seeing it as important, she played with the buttons until eventually a pumpkin appeared when she pulled the trigger. Food. She had food. and this time, she was going to be better with it!
THINGS FOR OTHERS TO NOTE
-The Carapacians do not speak verbally. It's some mix of body language and maybe some weird psychic thingy, but basically Roxy understands it, so others can understand what was being 'said' through her perspective.
-Roxy herself very rarely speaks verbally herself. Most of the sound she made was from her crying and making sounds, but not a lot of words. What words that do are stilted and weird to her.
-Carapacians are exoskeleton creatures, but have red blood.
-There is literally NO PLANTS OR ANIMALS ANYWHERE except for the pumpkin and canned food.
-She holds no anger at the Carapacians trying to eat her once she knows why, just feels bad for them.
-If someone whose not familiar with Roxy's home life, there is implications of a Regular Threat.
Break Down
-FIVE YEARS OLD.
-Walked off on my own when everyone was asleep.
-Don't know the dark patches of the Neighborhood and gosh everyone is twitchy.
-Find a gang and being friendly.
-SUDDENLY ATTACKED.
-Scared, scared, scared, don't understand.
-SAVED BY OTHER CARAPACIANS, of both colors, but white ones take me home.
-Brought home.
-Carapacians will eat basically everything except cannibalism when hungry and sadly she's not one of them.
-She is a Player.
-Prospits are white and they support the player and are not equipped to harm them.
-Derse are white and they see Players as mascots, but oppose when the game finally starts.
-So whites can avoid trying to eat her, but the black ones have a harder time.
-SO SOMETIMES BLACK ONES WANT TO EAT ME.
-This is terrible and feeling more like don't belong, BUT THEN FOCUS ON THEM ALL STARVING.
-Have supplies, but q-quickly gave away all my food, whoops.
-Find a gun with a note from mom.
-Gun can make food appear. =O
-Gotta be conservative, but yay, can do something.
Break Down
ROXY IS UNSURPRISED. She has bite scars and people starving make her nervous, she kind of...already guessed this might have happened. '-'
But it's still terrible to remember and it adds to her bitterness of her home life. It was ridiculously hard for NO GOOD REASON and the Carapacians didn't deserve to be starving all the time. She also has a death she doesn't want. GETTING EATEN ALIVE because that was a truckload of fear when she was bitten into and it's all pretty horrifying. Especially as she has more than one bite mark so this HAPPENED ANOTHER TIME. Good times, so much good times.
And it's terrible because...she really likes the Carapacians. She does have a lot of love and affection here and while there was some distance, it wasn't as strong as in later memories. This incident may have prompted her to pull away more because having things you care about try to hurt you was just too hard for a little girl to take. Especially in knowing all the black ones would turn against her one day.
BUT THERE IS ALSO THINGS ROXY IS GIVEN CONTEXT FOR. Carapacians are, indeed, part of the game. They are from Prospit and Derse. Why they live together on this place she...doesn't know. She's till not sure what planet they're ON, but it's not Derse, so who knows. Maybe Prospit? Maybe Skaia? WHO KNOWS, but she thinks wherever it is, this isn't a normal situation.
It does, however, explain a thing she's been wondering. She is referred to as a Player. Prospit Carapacians aren't programed to hurt Players. Little Roxy may not know meta talk, but current Roxy does. The Carapacians are NPCs for the Game. She was raised by NPCs. THIS IS WHY SHE CAN'T SEE NPCS AS NOT REAL, THIS IS HER ASSOCIATION.
So trauma and terrible things, good times.
It does say the kind of person she is. Roxy is able to forgive A LOT. The Carapacians were dangerous, but...it wasn't malice. It was desperate survival and she could understand that. Maybe she couldn't put it into words then, but she understood the concept. She couldn't hate them for just wanting to live.
+DNWING OF STARVATION THINGS.
+Sobbing at terrible things happening to NPCs.