thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

Heart Game (Continued)

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...Oh.

Then here's something I think you need.

[FOREHEAD SMOOCH.]

[And that's a punch right for his face.]

How dare you!

[MY FACE. He staggers back, making sure his glasses haven't fallen before breaking into a HUGE SMILE.]

Heh... okay then. Hate me all you like.

If your life's defined by loss and pain and you want it to end because everyone takes things from you, then that's your right as a person. But since I'm your friend, and your spadesthing besides, I'm going to look out for you because I like you--and it's my job to make you want to throttle me in a way you like.

So I'm going to keep you from wanting to die. I'll find a way to take that need from you, even if it makes you want to beat me up a little or a lot.

Because we're friends.

Shut up! [Scrubbing at her forehead.] You can't-you can't DO that! It has meaning and...and everyone leaves no matter how I bond to them!

They all leave!

You'll leave too!

That's true. I'll probably leave.

I'll come back, and wander off again, as I do. Life's like that. Partings, rejoinings, all of that... But I'll make sure that the partings are more of a 'see you later' than a 'goodbye.' After all, there's two kinds of people in this part of your heart that I've seen: The kind that take things from you and you wish would die but won't, and the kind you wish wouldn't die but do.

And then there's me, walking the balance between the two like a Monk of Mind should. So you can't just decide for me if I'm going to leave you or not. My future's not getting prewritten by anyone.

You can't promise that.

You can't promise you'll live, that you'll always come back, you've already died once!

You're right. I can't promise that I'll live.

But you also can't promise that I'll die. Because it's always one of the two with you--and I'm both at once. So believe in the unknown--the stuff beyond what exists. That's 'void' anyways, right?

You're not void.

You're part of what exists, what is. And death is part of balance of life.

But the future of my relationship with you is void. So stop trying to define it before it's had a chance to happen.

Let life happen.

I'm not clinging to more false hope! Haven't you already forced enough on me?!

Wouldn't know!

I don't deal in false hope!

YOU DO!

Trying to tell me it'll get better, that I can fix it, when I have NEVER FIXED IT! [Shoving him away and backing away from him.] I could never fix it, I could never make it better, I try and try and try and I knew all the important part, but I still couldn't do it!

I lead my friends to die to try and save them and I DIDN'T!

You got the hope all by yourself. All I did was tell you the truth of leaving this world, and what it meant if you changed your memories.

The idea of how to fix everything by tweaking your own memory was all yours.

Can't blame me for your own ingenuity, Roxy.

I don't even know if it'll work! I don't know what I KNOW, and it's fucking ME and I learn everything!

If even you don't know for sure, then that means there's still hope.

And that's not fake hope, it's the real stuff. All that's left is to believe in it and give it your all. And what happens, happens.

And what always happens is people die.

Where's the balance in that?

I fought so hard. I kept trying and trying and doing everything I had to for a chance at happiness and....and I don't get it.

It's not fair.

...I know the feeling.

I had to kill my own sister to try and get everyone's happiness. Y'know? And I don't even know if I made it out.

But all I can do is keep believing. In myself. In my own power. No matter how many times I've been beaten up or worn down.

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Heart Game (Continued)

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