thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

Heart Game (Continued)

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[. . .]

But you're still holding on. I've seen that. . . throughout this entire soul, there are bits of you that want to exist, that believe in pushing forward. The whole of you hasn't given up just yet.

It's just a matter of tackling one thing at a time, yeah. . .? To make pushing forward just a little bit easier. And right now. . . you need to forgive yourself for what happened in that game. Just like I already have.

One thing at a time...

That's worked wonders so far.

Baby steps, Roxy.

Trying to do everything at once will just exhaust you.

[She smiles, bitter.]

I knew that.

I tried that.

And I know where it got me.

. . . where?

Nothing left to save.

I dun deserve forgiveness.

Why would you give it?

Because I think you do deserve it.

. . . because I know that if I were you, I would have made the same choice.

[inhales and exhales deeply]

....

[She looks at him.]

. . .

[drops his gaze a bit]

I remember a cry wolf game similar to that one, y'know? Except it took place in a jungle instead of here, in Kyriakos. My team was a wolf team, and we weren't even told the teams we eliminated would die.

[deep breath]

I've. . . been told that it wasn't my fault. It's hard to believe, though. I should have known there was something up with the game from the beginning. I shouldn't have naively gone along with it. I should have spoken up, revealed my team to be the wolves, hell I don't know. I should have fought. I always fight, and I know that I would have bucked against those rules if I had know from the beginning that people would have died because of my choices.

I just wasn't given the chance.

No matter how I think about it, it feels like it's my fault that the people who died in that game were hurt.

[glancing up again]

But. . . if Ed and Aoko are right, and I deserve forgiveness for that. . . then you definitely do, too.

....

[You're back in the street, with your Carapacian friend.]

[A few buildings down is a particularly tall one, and your phone pings.]

TG: thats the lab
TG: need to get on the roof
TG: theres a ladder down
TG: n also
TG: be a good friend

[Before disconnecting.]

[Which might be a bit vague except you can now also see a figure standing in between you and the building.]

[It’s Roxy. Standing there in a t-shirt, skrit, and leggings, her mother’s scarf wrapped around her. In her hand is a piece of glass covered in blood, her own clothes stained the same. Around her are bodies. The bodies of her friends from home and Rose.]

[She looks over her shoulder at you, and she’s smiling, but her eyes are empty. She turns to you, and perhaps you’ll realize the blood is HERS. She’s covered in jagged injuries, but nowhere vital. Those spots are covered in bands of tiamt purple outlined in black, and more bands of a rather vibrant red. She holds out the shard of glass.]

Kill me.

[. . . BY BE A GOOD FRIEND I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MEAN KILL HER, KNIGHT LIGHT]

[he's stunned for a bit, though he takes note of those Tiamat bandages. and after a moment, he sets his jaw and steps over to take the glass shard from her]

. . . Roxy isn't ready to die just yet.

[also activating those void senses for pings]

[WHO KNOWS WHAT KNIGHT LIGHT EVER MEANS.]

[RETURN TO VOID RETURN TO NOTHINGNESS LET IT END LET IT END LET IT END]

[LET ME STOP EXISTING]

I am.

[closes his eyes for a moment, gently removing the glass shard from her hand]

[then he opens them and indicates the Tiamat bands]

. . . these are from Ed-- Vetoed-- aren't they?

[The smile cracks and she looks MAD.]

That...goddamn ASSHOLE. We could...we could have just LEFT, but he-

Gave you something worthwhile to hold onto?

[it's the way he'd put it, anyway]

What did he say?

[She laughs, bitter, empty.]

What didn't he say?

Makin' me realize if I'm in a Dommed Timeline, I still have to fix the universe because Doomed Timeline is still in the same goddamn universe as the Alpha Timeline where they'd SURVIVE. [Gestures to the bodies.]

Or trying to get me to hope I won't know the one bit of info that might make it possible to save 'em if I change it at the end of this bullshit.

[doomed timelines?? alpha timelines?? wtf homestuck. nevertheless, even if he doesn't know the terminology, he understands the sentiment. he pushes on]

You haven't observed the entire box yet, have you?

[taps his temple]

You've still got memories to win back. Things to learn. When you open the box, the cat could very much be alive.

[tilts his head up, thoughtful]

And even if it isn't, you're-- here. Right?

You can save them.

[Oh, that just seems to make her more mad.]

Save 'em? I know the fucking game rules. I know the ways of revival.

All I got is the supposed ability to alter what I dun know to get the one trinket that might do it and have Jane's corpse where I need it so SHE can fix it.

And that's only if what Queen says is the TRUTH.

[staaaaying quiet, even as she gets mad]

. . . who says you have to play by the game rules to bring them back?

You think I haven't thought of that?

Rogue of Void, vague as fuck, right?

Because, yes, yes, everytime people have relied on ROXY to fix the problems, things have totally worked out! [Oh, that's mania there.] Not like she didn't get a whole game TPK'd.

Not like didn't break the psyche of several people trying to HELP.

Not like she failed at feeding a bunch of aliens who needed help desperately or leave 'em all to die a horrible fiery death before being de-existed.

It's not like she was RIGHT THERE as everyone she loved was slaughtered and couldn't do a damn thing because she let herself get SLEEP SPELLED of all things.

[grasping both of her hands now]

Roxy!

Mistakes aren't reasons to give up! Do you think. . . any of your friends, if they were in your position, would ever give up on you?

[not squeezing her hands because they sure are cut up right now]

You'd believe in them, wouldn't you? And they'd believe in you.

[They sure are.]

I did! I did believe in them and look where we ended up!

It's not the end! Not yet!

[he's getting blood all over his hands but man whatever, he's died like three times now a bit of blood won't hurt everything]

You're alive. You're still clinging onto a small shred of hope that Ed gave you. It's not much, but it's not nothing, either. It's only the end when you give up, Roxy, and you haven't yet-- you haven't.

And the people who are in your soul right now, fighting to make their way here to help you, haven't given up on you, either.

You're not alone.

I'm sick of not giving up! I'm sick of fighting, sick of trying to save a universe that's fucking determined to take everything from me.

That HAS.

Only a matter of time 'fore John's gone.

Only matter of time 'fore all of you are gone.

[She falls to her knees.]

It's just a fucking game waiting until it all ends and let's me have any peace.

[sinks to the ground with her, and -- oh, screw it. He isn't a very touchy feely person, and before today he wouldn't have thought of hugging but. but dang does she need it now, so he (carefully) slides his arms around her shoulders and hugs her]

Don't do it for the universe. Screw the universe.

Do it for your friends. And-- trust us. The only reason we have made it this far is because we trusted you, when you asked us to die for you to gain immortality.

Trust us as much as we trust you. Trust us to support you and pick you up when you trip and fall. Trust us to help you in every capacity that we can, because I bet no one is going anywhere after this is through.

Edited 2015-01-26 14:59 (UTC)

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