thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

Heart Game (Continued)

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[WHO KNOWS WHAT KNIGHT LIGHT EVER MEANS.]

[RETURN TO VOID RETURN TO NOTHINGNESS LET IT END LET IT END LET IT END]

[LET ME STOP EXISTING]

I am.

[closes his eyes for a moment, gently removing the glass shard from her hand]

[then he opens them and indicates the Tiamat bands]

. . . these are from Ed-- Vetoed-- aren't they?

[The smile cracks and she looks MAD.]

That...goddamn ASSHOLE. We could...we could have just LEFT, but he-

Gave you something worthwhile to hold onto?

[it's the way he'd put it, anyway]

What did he say?

[She laughs, bitter, empty.]

What didn't he say?

Makin' me realize if I'm in a Dommed Timeline, I still have to fix the universe because Doomed Timeline is still in the same goddamn universe as the Alpha Timeline where they'd SURVIVE. [Gestures to the bodies.]

Or trying to get me to hope I won't know the one bit of info that might make it possible to save 'em if I change it at the end of this bullshit.

[doomed timelines?? alpha timelines?? wtf homestuck. nevertheless, even if he doesn't know the terminology, he understands the sentiment. he pushes on]

You haven't observed the entire box yet, have you?

[taps his temple]

You've still got memories to win back. Things to learn. When you open the box, the cat could very much be alive.

[tilts his head up, thoughtful]

And even if it isn't, you're-- here. Right?

You can save them.

[Oh, that just seems to make her more mad.]

Save 'em? I know the fucking game rules. I know the ways of revival.

All I got is the supposed ability to alter what I dun know to get the one trinket that might do it and have Jane's corpse where I need it so SHE can fix it.

And that's only if what Queen says is the TRUTH.

[staaaaying quiet, even as she gets mad]

. . . who says you have to play by the game rules to bring them back?

You think I haven't thought of that?

Rogue of Void, vague as fuck, right?

Because, yes, yes, everytime people have relied on ROXY to fix the problems, things have totally worked out! [Oh, that's mania there.] Not like she didn't get a whole game TPK'd.

Not like didn't break the psyche of several people trying to HELP.

Not like she failed at feeding a bunch of aliens who needed help desperately or leave 'em all to die a horrible fiery death before being de-existed.

It's not like she was RIGHT THERE as everyone she loved was slaughtered and couldn't do a damn thing because she let herself get SLEEP SPELLED of all things.

[grasping both of her hands now]

Roxy!

Mistakes aren't reasons to give up! Do you think. . . any of your friends, if they were in your position, would ever give up on you?

[not squeezing her hands because they sure are cut up right now]

You'd believe in them, wouldn't you? And they'd believe in you.

[They sure are.]

I did! I did believe in them and look where we ended up!

It's not the end! Not yet!

[he's getting blood all over his hands but man whatever, he's died like three times now a bit of blood won't hurt everything]

You're alive. You're still clinging onto a small shred of hope that Ed gave you. It's not much, but it's not nothing, either. It's only the end when you give up, Roxy, and you haven't yet-- you haven't.

And the people who are in your soul right now, fighting to make their way here to help you, haven't given up on you, either.

You're not alone.

I'm sick of not giving up! I'm sick of fighting, sick of trying to save a universe that's fucking determined to take everything from me.

That HAS.

Only a matter of time 'fore John's gone.

Only matter of time 'fore all of you are gone.

[She falls to her knees.]

It's just a fucking game waiting until it all ends and let's me have any peace.

[sinks to the ground with her, and -- oh, screw it. He isn't a very touchy feely person, and before today he wouldn't have thought of hugging but. but dang does she need it now, so he (carefully) slides his arms around her shoulders and hugs her]

Don't do it for the universe. Screw the universe.

Do it for your friends. And-- trust us. The only reason we have made it this far is because we trusted you, when you asked us to die for you to gain immortality.

Trust us as much as we trust you. Trust us to support you and pick you up when you trip and fall. Trust us to help you in every capacity that we can, because I bet no one is going anywhere after this is through.

Edited 2015-01-26 14:59 (UTC)

[She shakes her head.]

Y'all just die to. It's what happens. Everytime. What's the saying, once is coincidence, twice is a pattern. Five times kind of overkills it.

Doesn't matter how much I trust, how much I care, or work for. Doesn't matter how much I try to build up bonds.

Everyone goes away, one way or another.

. . . people only go away permanently if you forget about them.

[pulls back, hands on her shoulders]

You wouldn't forget, would you?

[That]

[Is a very deep ping]

I would never forget them! I wouldn-I would NEVER deny their existence!

[progress. . . finally]

I know you wouldn't. Your friends are your strength, right? And that strength shatters when you think they've been taken from you.

But they haven't been. You've sill got them right here.

[places a hand over his heart]

And as long as you don't forget, then they'll continue to give you strength. As long as you don't forget. . . nothing can ever take them from you, no matter how hard it tries.

[he's never really been one for friendship speeches, and that sound cheesy even to his own ears. but he believes it]

How long am I supposed to last on that.

That's all it was for over fifteen YEARS. It was all I had, that hope that....that I would GET them, have them. That I could be happy. That I would have people who wanted me, who loved me, cared for me, actually SAW me, and valued me.

I had it. I had it, I had them, but then they were taken away after what? A few months?

[She sobs.] Even my mom...I had her in my arms. I thought....I thought I saved her, I thought I had her in time, but it was just a few more minutes.

Over fifteen years for a few months, a few minutes....

. . .

[he drops one hand to his side, and assesses her injuries. before responding, he concentrates again-- taps into the void, and tries to conjure up a roll of bandages for her. it's also not quite as easy as conjuring roses and cards, but hey. . . be managed a uniform earlier. certainly he could manage bandages]

No one can blame you for hurting. For being angry. You have every right to yell and scream and cry about it.

No one will take that from you.

But you said you would never deny their existence. . . so as much as you cry, as much as you hurt. . . don't deny their existence by giving up.

[Takes some focus, but eventually getting some bandages.]

I wouldn't be! It's...it's memories that do...

Someone who misses 'em...

[victory! Takes that roll and starts wrapping her injuries, beginning with the ones on her hands]

Misses them. . .?

When people die.

You know they existed because people remember 'em. Know who they were. They....they didn't just disappear anonymous.

That's right.

[continuing to wrap the injuries up her arm next]

But if you gave up, who would be left to miss them?

I'd be with 'em.

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