thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

Heart Game (Continued)

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...

[She stands up, approaching him.]

Very close. Scope and timing are off. Fuschia blood.

[He nods. All right, fuchsia blood it is then.]

[You don't want to kill.]

[But you see an alien woman.]

[You know her every crime. Everything she has done to you. How much she has taken. How much excessive cruelty she's performed simply because she COULD. To you, to everyone around you, to so many alien races. How unrepentant she is, how she targets you, and your friends.]

[How she demands you to save her race for her to enslave as she took away yours.]

[How she killed the last of your family twice.]

[And suddenly it's so very easy to imagine yourself draining every tyrian drop from her body just to make sure SHE STAYED DOWN.]

[...Okay yeah no. He's been able to take dying repeatedly, but no matter who it is or how much the Batterwitch may deserve it, the thought of his hands murdering another (and a girl no less, species be damned), even if it's imaginary...

Sorry, but he's throwing up on the floor again. It's smaller this time, and mostly acid because he hasn't eaten anything, but.]

[You need to visit Life, bro.]

[Doom will wait and there's another ping.]

[Death. In all forms.]

[but he wants to help, and Knight Roxy said this was the way to go for that

but death in all forms, huh...]

...Acknowledgement that. That all of this death happened. To everyone, not just you.

Then what does that mean? [Gestures to the Fuchsia blood.]

...That it's not going to end until that woman is stopped.

I mean, she's not the only cause. But she's caused so much pain... I can't fault you for hating her that much.

[which is a statement that leans on emotion but you know what he's getting tired of this]

...

[Sighs.]

No. This room isn't about 'cause.' You're pulling away from the answer you had.

That she exists, then? It's not your hatred of her, you're not emotion.

No, it's not. Esp since she wouldn't be responsible for Cry Wolf, now would she?

Like I said, she's not the only cause...

...Argh, I'm trying. I really am. It's acknowledging something, I've got that much.

Do you know what Schrodinger's Cat is?

[If he doesn't, Fiere will. Sprite pings go go.]

[Go go sprite pings indeed.]

There's a cat in a box, and there's also poison in the box, but there's only half a chance that the poison killed the cat. So you don't know if the cat is alive or dead until you look in the box, but until you see it, it could be either.

Exactly.

So you could say until you look at the cat, it doesn't really exist.

...But you do exist.

Do "I?"

[Who knows how you hear quotes, but you do. HOMESTUCK.]

Yes, you do.

[...and then he thinks about it, and decides that goddamn it, he really, really dislikes this whole 'different parts of the whole' concept that hearts have going on. He sees Roxy in front of him, he should be talking to Roxy, the whole of Roxy. But this is only part of Roxy.

And that part is...]

...Acknowledgement of the bad stuff that's happened. Because if that Schrodinger thing is what you're going with, you have to observe it in order for it to exist.

And the good can't exist without the bad, but you have to acknowledge the bad in order for it to exist, and so in order for any of it to exist. You can't just deny it.

But you do exist, Roxy.

[She smiles. Sad, forlorn, but genuine.]

There it is.

[...Yeah, he's going to just hug you now. Maybe you're not the emotion, maybe you won't get much out of it, but he's gonna do it anyway.]

You exist. Both the good and the bad.

[Would adding "and I'm glad you do" be too emotion? ...Probably. So he doesn't say it. But it's wordlessly implied.]

[So you do.]

[She is very cold because corpse.]

...

Remember that. Because I always have a hard time saying it. There's an exceeding amount of dumb.

[and he is very warm because fire elemental

so he will try to pass you some of that warmth

even if it's fruitless]

Of course I will.

[Kinda. Good try, bro.]

Good.

Now bend down, too tall.

Okay.

[does so, a little questionmark-ing but complient]

[She leans forward to kiss his forehead with cold lips.]

[You hate it.]

[It's not as if you don't understand. You know to Jane, it makes no sense, the things you tell her. She's centuries in the past, of course she wouldn't believe you when you tell her how you grew up.]

[About what you've lost.]

[Because to her, it hasn't happened.]

[But it hurts. It still hurts as she denies such basic facts of your life.]

[How she treats it like it doesn't exist.]

[And it feels like you don't exist]

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Heart Game (Continued)

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