Heart Game (Continued)

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[There's nothing]

[Nothing]

[Nothingnothingnothingnothingnothing]

[Isn't that wonderful though?]

Heart Prep | Sign in for SCORED runs | Chumroll | MEMO, oh god | Passive Skills (PLEASE FILL OUT, true godtiers can wait, but need Faketiers when you enter) | Mechanics

IRC: #Voidheart. Plurk pings: Alwaysterrible.

Original Heart Post

ENTER | CHUMROLL CONTINUED | BEDROOM | BREATH | TIME | SPACE | LIFE 1 LIFE 2 | BLOOD 1 BLOOD 2 | MIND | DOOM 1 DOOM 2 | RAGE 1 RAGE 2 | HOPE

Comments

[lucciola]

[either option just... sounds bad]

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

....

AAAAGH, isn't that fuckin' obvious?!

You have the power to save a species, dun even to self sacrifice to do it, just gotta mediate right. What do you do? The fucking obvs choice!

[unguilded]

Then you should, if that's what you want to do-- if that's what you'd do without knowing what would-- what will happen. Follow your heart as though nothing's threatening to cause it pain. Before anything else.

Not that it won't hurt, because knowing what you know, it will. But don't put those feelings in your choice, don't let her affect it the way she wants to. And if you're still here-- if your friends are still out there, that means there's still a chance that you can bring them back to how they should be, one day, if they exist.

... I don't even know if I'd want that for myself, knowing that that happened to me, too. Not living might definitely seem better than living as something you didn't choose, controlled by someone else. ... But I'm just me, I'm not an entire race. And if there was a chance that somehow ... they could go back to being what they used to be ... if that choice was in someone like yours' hands ... I'd just want them to do what they thought was right in their heart, no matter what it was, regardless of what a greater power wanted out of it.

[lucciola]

Sometimes... it is better to do something than not doing anything at all. I have realized that as well.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Let her affect the way she wants to?

She WANTS me to revive them, she's using the feels I have in wanting to save people to GET ME TO DO IT?

What, you think she thought the torture would do it? It's the fact she knows I would WANT to save them that she's using.

It's not like I can't ignore what will happen. It's not as if they just fall in line, they'll be okay. She's a fucking SADIST. Carapacians are the most obedient fuckers in the world, and she still slaughtered 'em just to get to me!

[unguilded]

Then don't do it because she wants to use your feelings, do it because you just want to do it. Because it's who you are.

Is right this moment even the only time you're capable of creating the egg? If it's not, you can still save the race without damning them to something like that.

[lucciola]

Is there... someone else who would be able to utilize the egg? That is not her...

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

....that's also another problem. [She looks at the ground, frowning deeply.]

'fore the fuckin' clown showed up, she was the only troll I knew about that was still alive. Even her crew is dead.

[unguilded]

So only a troll can do something like that?

[lucciola]

Crew?

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Her ship crew. Gog knows how she manages the damn thing.

And I don't know! I know shit all about troll reproduction, just that it involves buckets, all gender combos work, and I think that's because they have both parts.

[unguilded]

Then it sounds like you might not need anything at all, to bring back their race, other than your power.

So stay true to yourself, and bring them back. But bring them back after you've stopped her. And in the meantime ... well, you're Roxy, aren't you? I know you can get out of something like this, even if it's tough as it is right now. If not alone, then with the people who'll support you like you always support them. Because it sounds like at least one of them has a chance to come and help-- and I bet he will, soon enough. The choices she gave you aren't the only ones, so show her that you can make your own while not giving up who you are and throw it back in her face eventually.

[lucciola]

And perhaps there are others of her race still out there. You said a clown showed up? Is he a troll too?

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

How do you get that at all, it sounds like I know fuck all on how trolls actually reproduce.

Yeah, but I dunno what his deal is. I think he came from another game session with all his dead teammates.

[unguilded]

Then doesn't that prove more exist, so the possibility exists? Don't just toss it aside because it's not completely clear just yet. I'm sure it'll become clear, one way or the other. Especially since there could be a way to save them, and you wouldn't even need to put them in harm's way, if you can stop the Batterwitch first.

Regardless of what you do and when you do it ... just make sure you do it for yourself above anybody else.

[lucciola]

[WHAT HE SAID. Castling'll just nod]

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

I don't know what I want!

Part of me wants to go 'no fuck that' just to spite her, another part is like 'why does it have to be ME?', another part thinks it's all bullshit, and then there's the obvs I have to help!

And I can't just assume there IS a possibility when it's an entire race.

[unguilded]

No, but as long as it's not something you know for sure, it's still something.

Don't spite her in a way she expects you to-- because that would be what she wants. And as long as you show her you're not going to let her change or break you and who you are, that's how you really spite her. Bring them back now, rescue them later; deal with her first, and then revive them. But whatever you do, do it because you choose it, and you believe it's the right choice. That conviction is something she can't take from you, as long as it's your own.

[lucciola]

Do it out of your own will, and go against what she expects you to do.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

....

[She just gives them a flat look.]

She doesn't want to break me that way! She wants to use my goodness against me. It's that or dominate my will, not corrupt me into evil. She did THAT with Jade and Jane, she dun exactly need to do that with me for her sick kicks.

I know she can't take any of my feelings, my own thoughts and feelings are all I ever had, it's the fact that she's able to use them so well that's driving me up the fucking wall! She EXPECTS me to make the matriorb. She WANTS me to do it, she doesn't want me to have a crisis of faith over my own personality and go darkside because, oh look SHE HAS DARKSIDE TURNERS!

There is no moral battle 'you know you're like me' thing going on, it's all about domination and manipulation!

[unguilded]

It's about you making a choice you'd normally make without question, and regretting it in ways, because of how she uses and manipulates it, right? That exactly why you should listen to yourself-- not caring about whether or not she expects something or wants you to do something, but because you know it's simply the right thing to do.

[ He also has no idea if his powers work here, but ... paths, the right choices to make, the right ways to go ... he's trying to feel for that, something. ]

It's not the complete solution, but it doesn't end there. Because there's more than just this moment with this choice you're trapped in.

[ Though he'll also nudge Lucciola and his pesterchum, because maybe he can try using that if his powers don't bring anything back. ]

[lucciola]

It is hard to make a decision without regarding a direct influence on that decision, but...


[SHOULD I LOOK AT MY PHONE is that what you mean]

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Agggggh, she doesn't give a shit if I feel bad or anything! I'm the only one who cares, she just cares that I do what she wants, that's.....it doesn't make me feel any better! I always do the right thing, I'm always going to do the right thing, that's the whole thing, and it's aggravating because every time I do what I want, she makes it to her advantage!

It's like I'm always TRAPPED by her, even if I do what I want to do!

[Bitterness.]

[The moral choice has been decided. It was decided the moment it was brought up.]

[But it doesn't help the bitterness, it doesn't help the trapped feelings, and it's hard to feel like they're valid when she's still doing good things while playing into the villain's hands.]

[unguilded]

[ Yes boyfriend, we have those things for a reason and for communication purposes that might be able to help us out.

But ... he looks down. ]

I wish I knew what to say to that ... because I know how that feels. And I haven't quite found the way out of it, because it seems like there is none for me, either. For us. And that sort of feeling ... is the worst. Of having no escape.

But outside you-- and so many other people have told me that you're sure it'll get better eventually. That we'll find a way out of it. It's still hard to believe, so I know those words alone won't do much here. But knowing you have people on the outside who will support you and believe in you, and maybe even help you themselves ... it can't help but make you feel something.

And I know even that can still lack to an extent. But ... all you can do is keep going, because if you don't, then you really will stay trapped. Use that bitterness, that anger as your fuel to keep doing what you'll always do, and keep making choices-- the choices you'll always make regardless of what she does with them. Maybe something won't line up with what she needs or wants, and that'll be a key. They're maybes, but ... all you can do when you feel truly trapped is keep striking the bars of the cage with all of that fueled anger until they either give or it kills you. And you don't just let yourself be killed so easily.

[ He keeps trying to focus his power on the room as well. That the right paths-- the truly right paths are hard to find because they seem like they all lead to the same things, the same feelings of being trapped. But there are so many of them and you can only see so far ahead. To keep going, no matter how repetitive it gets at least lets you keep moving, and keep searching until you're on the path you were searching for, or one that even slightly diverges from the rest that will lead you there. ]

[lucciola]

It is really aggravating, to feel like that. That you truly have no control.