Heart Game (Continued)

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[There's nothing]

[Nothing]

[Nothingnothingnothingnothingnothing]

[Isn't that wonderful though?]

Heart Prep | Sign in for SCORED runs | Chumroll | MEMO, oh god | Passive Skills (PLEASE FILL OUT, true godtiers can wait, but need Faketiers when you enter) | Mechanics

IRC: #Voidheart. Plurk pings: Alwaysterrible.

Original Heart Post

ENTER | CHUMROLL CONTINUED | BEDROOM | BREATH | TIME | SPACE | LIFE 1 LIFE 2 | BLOOD 1 BLOOD 2 | MIND | DOOM 1 DOOM 2 | RAGE 1 RAGE 2 | HOPE

Comments

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

[ .... frogs.......

But he takes that in, considering the destruction happening around him. Flying fast and low, if only to get a better look at the forms on the ground. Not that he expects any of them to be alive, but ...

Rolled a 8! ]

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[Homestuck is fucking weird.]

[Flashes. Faces, people.]

[Zelos, so frustrating, you know you've missed so much, but you're trying to understand, there has to be a way you can understand him, give him what he needs, and in a way that would stop breaking him in the process.]

[Sapphire, who you know is hurting, but she learned the truth, and she won't tell you, says you've been through enough.]

[Otacon who always looks down on himself and it seems like you can never get through those barriers.]

[Technic who you've realized shares so many of the same feelings you do, but he never listens, never let's himself be helped, and you've seen where that goes, but it's like Zelos, you can't reach out in a way that will let him reach back.]

[Hydra and Sparrow and you're afraid to tell them the truth, afraid that they'll do what Sapphire did, treat you like glass when that's not what you want, never what you want, and it's more important than anything else that they don't. You can't take the idea of someone so important looking at you with eyes like those.]

[Over and over, people you can't quite reach out in the way they need, and people pull back when you open up, and it's not what you want it's not what you want it's not what you want]

[You're by the Cove, at the edge of Kyriakos.]

[And there's Roxy, sitting at the edge of the void, staring at a book, tapping the page with her pen.]

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

[ Ew I hope there are no smelly Ulriches around in the heartcove.

But he approaches the Roxy, when he gets all of those feelings. Some of them all too familiar to him. ]

Hey.

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[I just learned bout Ulrich, that hasn't made an impact yet.]

[Glances up and she just....looks so tired and defeated.] ....sup.

[Turns back to her book.]

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

[ Oh. :(

Sitting down next to her, staring out into the void. ]

What are you writing about?

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Ideas. Just....trying to organize ideas.

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

What sort of ideas?

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

...

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

More things you've learned? Or are trying to learn, about certain people? Or, maybe just the more frustrating ones.

If it's a secret or something you'd rather not say outloud, though, it's okay.

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Just...

The frustrating ones. And the scary ones.

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

Yeah ... trying to figure people out is hard sometimes, especially when they try to hide a lot of the real things.

Why are you sitting all the way out here?

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[She gestures out to the void.]

Makes it easier to think if I sit out here.

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

I guess I can see why, to some extent.

...

Sometimes it takes a while, to get to understand someone you've never met anybody else like. Everything's new, and different, certain things that fit with so many people suddenly don't with others, and it gets confusing, because you thought you were starting to figure it out and then it seems all wrong.

Not to mention, there's always a bit of a tough balance, between giving, receiving that sort of understanding, that sort of support. Especially when you throw words like pity and sympathy and 'like glass' in there. Do you know what I mean?

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

The void is peaceful. Only natch, it's my aspect.

[She...she actually laughs. A bit bitterly.]

Like I've never met.

The ones who give me the most trouble are the most like people I know. That's why I know they need help, I can see it.

And kind of, but that's why....why I try to open up to 'em, but it never works out.

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

I wouldn't say never ... even though I know a couple of those cases are too late to do anything more with for now.

Hm ... can I ask you something though?

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

What is it?

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

Giving Zelos what he needs without breaking him, Hal's barriers, Sapphire hurting, Technic being a lot like you, only a lot more stubborn when it comes to ever even admitting to himself that he might need, what are the reasons you want to understand and reach out to them?

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Isn't that obvs?

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

Well, yeah. But sometimes it's still a good thing to say it anyway.

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Lots of reasons.

It's the right thing to do, everyone deserves help, everyone deserves to not feel alone, makes me happy to help. Those are most of the reasons.

They're my friends makes me more determined 'cause usually friendship happens at some point.

[Pause.]

Sometimes...I see how people act. And it's familiar. It's...it's what I know.

And I know how miserable it is, and I dun want that for 'em.

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

Do you think they see it in you, too? And want to help you in the same way?

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Some see it. Others are blind to it.

I'm....never sure why people want to help me specifically.

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

I'd say it's for the same reason you want to help them. Because they like you, they want to be your friend, and some see parts of you in them, too.

But ... sometimes that can be scary to face. When you realize how similar you are to someone you want to help, but it's something that you're scared to face, to accept or embrace. And then you realize that contradiction in yourself, and pull away. They might ask themselves that, too, 'why does somebody want to help me specifically'? And then that turns into an opposing force, where you want to help somebody that you know all too well, but would back away if the tables were turned.

Re: RAGE

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[She frowns.] Is it really that scary? To have someone understand? I mean, yeah, it's scary to face, but if there's someone who understands...

Always seemed less scary then.

Re: RAGE

[unguilded]

It's never scary to have someone understand. But to want to help and be there for someone when you question whether you deserve, or maybe try to avoid the same can make things confusing.

And, like those words on the wall said ... you don't want to be pitied, and it's easy to take things that way, when someone reaches out to you and you're confused enough already. "I want to help this person because I know how horrible those feelings can be, but I feel pitied when people make me feel like I'm made of glass. So am I doing the same thing to them somehow, unintentionally?"

I won't pull back from you, though, if you ever try to reach out and open up to me. I'll do my best to let you know what I need, too. And hope I don't make you feel like glass. I don't want to do that to anybody.