Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-28 04:53 am (UTC)
menially: (and most of all goodbye ★)
From: [personal profile] menially
...If you're sure, then... alright.

[Making a sylladex switch. NUMBERS EVERYWHERE much strider very dave. He pulls out the pen instead.]

I'd still like to make my mark here, if I could. Would feel guilty if I didn't at least try.

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-28 05:14 am (UTC)
menially: (Always in a rush ★)
From: [personal profile] menially
Yeeeah, that'd be a little counterproductive. Thanks for saying something.

[A gesture to her journal.]

May I?

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-30 11:32 pm (UTC)
menially: (letting my mind wander)
From: [personal profile] menially
[Writing most of what he said before down, though condensed.

Be patient with yourself.

Keep being there for others, even if it's difficult. Let them come to conclusions themselves. Don't take on that burden alone. Voice what you need to the people you care about.
]

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-30 11:52 pm (UTC)
menially: (better than me ϟ)
From: [personal profile] menially
You're asking a coward to not be afraid, you know.

[An empty laugh, before his smile grows a little more honest.]

...But yeah. I'll try, too.

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-31 12:03 am (UTC)
menially: (heat begins to rise ☼)
From: [personal profile] menially
[It's that same rush of discomfort, of familiarity so nauseating that he visibly fights the urge to buckle over. But to right himself, seeing her injured, empty, and asking for death--

Anger stiffens his motions as he strides up to her, grabs the shard... and drops it as he backhands her hard across the face.]

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-31 12:28 am (UTC)
menially: (and I lost you again ϟ)
From: [personal profile] menially
[He holds his ground in front of her, fists clenched tight, seething but thinly restraining his temper behind careful, icy words as he speaks.]

If you die, you won't be able to feel me hit you anymore.

Don't ask such stupid things.

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-31 12:37 am (UTC)
menially: (I want to give you back☽)
From: [personal profile] menially
And what the hell do you think dying will change about that?? Just give you some sort of permanent escape? Let you forget??

How is that not stupid??

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-31 01:23 am (UTC)
menially: (heat begins to rise ☼)
From: [personal profile] menially
You think I don't know that?

If that's your desire, then does anything else in here really matter to you? The people you love and care about, the people who've you've lost... Hydra, Zelos, Jake, Jane, Dirk, your mother -- you're talking about throwing them all away, throwing away what has happened to you, and to them, for the sake of your own goddamn despair!

What the hell do you think that will leave behind???

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-31 02:19 am (UTC)
menially: (of the reaping of the grain ☼)
From: [personal profile] menially
Us! Your teammates, your friends, all the people who are here now!

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-31 02:36 am (UTC)
menially: (you can't hear me anymore ★)
From: [personal profile] menially
Don't make that decision for us, Roxy! Those of us that are around choose to be around, regardless of what's happened!

Don't pretend like you want to be left alone, after all this! [Gesturing wildly to the bloodied mess around them] Would they want you off killing yourself just because they were gone?? Are you making them proud over that?? Or would they want you to try and fight for any happiness you could take, because you survived for a reason??

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-31 03:06 am (UTC)
menially: (I know that you can't hear me anymore ★)
From: [personal profile] menially
Then find it somewhere else! Don't just pass up the chance you've been given in Kyriakos, Roxy!! Don't ignore the happiness that's right in front of you or the support you can give now, just because you're scared it might be taken from you again!

Re: RAGE

Date: 2015-01-31 03:21 am (UTC)
menially: (leave it alone ϟ)
From: [personal profile] menially
[Sucking in a breath because O U C H]

Yeah, I am.

I remember those nights, back when I was sixteen, where I had nothing left. I couldn't bring anyone back, I couldn't do anything to avenge them, and I couldn't progress no matter how hard I tried. Nights where I'd lay in bed after too many nightmares and wonder why the hell I couldn't have died along with everyone else.

I'm not saying any of this because it's easy, Roxy. It's not. It's hard. It hurts. It's sleepless nights and frightening days and too much time wondering why. You spend your life waiting for any good things to disappear, for people to leave or die or vanish, because that's just how it always works.

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