Heart Game (Continued)

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[There's nothing]

[Nothing]

[Nothingnothingnothingnothingnothing]

[Isn't that wonderful though?]

Heart Prep | Sign in for SCORED runs | Chumroll | MEMO, oh god | Passive Skills (PLEASE FILL OUT, true godtiers can wait, but need Faketiers when you enter) | Mechanics

IRC: #Voidheart. Plurk pings: Alwaysterrible.

Original Heart Post

ENTER | CHUMROLL CONTINUED | BEDROOM | BREATH | TIME | SPACE | LIFE 1 LIFE 2 | BLOOD 1 BLOOD 2 | MIND | DOOM 1 DOOM 2 | RAGE 1 RAGE 2 | HOPE

Comments

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Don't you get it?!

I grew UP with Games like these. I should have seen what would happen. It was literally the sort of thing I TRAINED FOR.

And I knew what I was doing when I confessed, I KNEW two teams were gonna die, I knew how high chances were Epona was gonna confess, and I did it anyway!

[carptricks]

Epona chose to confess on their own! Their choices are not your fault. You can't shoulder the burden of other people's decisions, Roxy. That's just. . .

[h-hffff]

That's too heavy of a burden for anyone to carry on their own.

. . . and as for the rest, you were only trying to limit the damage that would be done. You can't. . . shoulder the burden of Yaksinis's choice to kill everyone, either.

You have to forgive yourself. How can you keep fighting if you don't allow yourself to move on from past mistakes?

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Maybe I shouldn't keep fighting...

[carptricks]

. . . do you really believe that?

[taking a step towards her and reaching out, hesitating, before he places his hand on her shouler]

Because I don't believe you do.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

I want to.

I'm so...tired of fighting.

[carptricks]

. . . you aren't fighting alone.

[gentle shoulder squeeze]

Which. . . might be hard to hear, I know, but it's true. Everyone in Kyriakos is fighting with you.

And when you get tired and need to rest, someone will cover for you.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Everyone is fighting for worlds that can be saved.

I'm not.

[carptricks]

[. . .]

But you're still holding on. I've seen that. . . throughout this entire soul, there are bits of you that want to exist, that believe in pushing forward. The whole of you hasn't given up just yet.

It's just a matter of tackling one thing at a time, yeah. . .? To make pushing forward just a little bit easier. And right now. . . you need to forgive yourself for what happened in that game. Just like I already have.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

One thing at a time...

That's worked wonders so far.

[carptricks]

Baby steps, Roxy.

Trying to do everything at once will just exhaust you.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[She smiles, bitter.]

I knew that.

I tried that.

And I know where it got me.

[carptricks]

. . . where?

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Nothing left to save.

I dun deserve forgiveness.

Why would you give it?

[carptricks]

Because I think you do deserve it.

. . . because I know that if I were you, I would have made the same choice.

[inhales and exhales deeply]

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

....

[She looks at him.]

[carptricks]

. . .

[drops his gaze a bit]

I remember a cry wolf game similar to that one, y'know? Except it took place in a jungle instead of here, in Kyriakos. My team was a wolf team, and we weren't even told the teams we eliminated would die.

[deep breath]

I've. . . been told that it wasn't my fault. It's hard to believe, though. I should have known there was something up with the game from the beginning. I shouldn't have naively gone along with it. I should have spoken up, revealed my team to be the wolves, hell I don't know. I should have fought. I always fight, and I know that I would have bucked against those rules if I had know from the beginning that people would have died because of my choices.

I just wasn't given the chance.

No matter how I think about it, it feels like it's my fault that the people who died in that game were hurt.

[glancing up again]

But. . . if Ed and Aoko are right, and I deserve forgiveness for that. . . then you definitely do, too.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

....

[You're back in the street, with your Carapacian friend.]

[A few buildings down is a particularly tall one, and your phone pings.]

TG: thats the lab
TG: need to get on the roof
TG: theres a ladder down
TG: n also
TG: be a good friend

[Before disconnecting.]

[Which might be a bit vague except you can now also see a figure standing in between you and the building.]

[It’s Roxy. Standing there in a t-shirt, skrit, and leggings, her mother’s scarf wrapped around her. In her hand is a piece of glass covered in blood, her own clothes stained the same. Around her are bodies. The bodies of her friends from home and Rose.]

[She looks over her shoulder at you, and she’s smiling, but her eyes are empty. She turns to you, and perhaps you’ll realize the blood is HERS. She’s covered in jagged injuries, but nowhere vital. Those spots are covered in bands of tiamt purple outlined in black, and more bands of a rather vibrant red. She holds out the shard of glass.]

Kill me.

[carptricks]

[. . . BY BE A GOOD FRIEND I HOPE YOU DIDN'T MEAN KILL HER, KNIGHT LIGHT]

[he's stunned for a bit, though he takes note of those Tiamat bandages. and after a moment, he sets his jaw and steps over to take the glass shard from her]

. . . Roxy isn't ready to die just yet.

[also activating those void senses for pings]

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[WHO KNOWS WHAT KNIGHT LIGHT EVER MEANS.]

[RETURN TO VOID RETURN TO NOTHINGNESS LET IT END LET IT END LET IT END]

[LET ME STOP EXISTING]

I am.

[carptricks]

[closes his eyes for a moment, gently removing the glass shard from her hand]

[then he opens them and indicates the Tiamat bands]

. . . these are from Ed-- Vetoed-- aren't they?

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[The smile cracks and she looks MAD.]

That...goddamn ASSHOLE. We could...we could have just LEFT, but he-

[carptricks]

Gave you something worthwhile to hold onto?

[it's the way he'd put it, anyway]

What did he say?

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[She laughs, bitter, empty.]

What didn't he say?

Makin' me realize if I'm in a Dommed Timeline, I still have to fix the universe because Doomed Timeline is still in the same goddamn universe as the Alpha Timeline where they'd SURVIVE. [Gestures to the bodies.]

Or trying to get me to hope I won't know the one bit of info that might make it possible to save 'em if I change it at the end of this bullshit.

[carptricks]

[doomed timelines?? alpha timelines?? wtf homestuck. nevertheless, even if he doesn't know the terminology, he understands the sentiment. he pushes on]

You haven't observed the entire box yet, have you?

[taps his temple]

You've still got memories to win back. Things to learn. When you open the box, the cat could very much be alive.

[tilts his head up, thoughtful]

And even if it isn't, you're-- here. Right?

You can save them.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[Oh, that just seems to make her more mad.]

Save 'em? I know the fucking game rules. I know the ways of revival.

All I got is the supposed ability to alter what I dun know to get the one trinket that might do it and have Jane's corpse where I need it so SHE can fix it.

And that's only if what Queen says is the TRUTH.