thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

[MINION GET..... I GUESS.

We will find the safe place together, little friend. Just no more flailing!]

[He will flail less. He seems far more relaxed when given direction.]

[Roll a ten sider, don't repeat.]

[2!]

[And now you're in another thing. A probably terrifyingly familiar thing. It appears to be the husks or a burnt out village, chilly and cold.]

[And you're told you're a wolf. You see the rules and if you're not lynched the first night, you'll have to choose a team to die.]

[But you can't. You can't you can't you can't.]

[You do everything and anything you can without breaking the rules. Act off, act upset, act so not you and hope, pray, wish someone will NOTICE and vote for your team and kill you off now because you can't, you CAN'T kill someone else. You can leave people, but you can't kill another team deliberately.]

[But it doesn't work. Worse, is both teams that are up are not wolves.]

[And you're panicking, terrified, and you don't want this. You want to end this game, BREAK IT, and if you just break the rules....it'll kill you and one other team.]

[But the team you're closest too are either like minded, or likely to be chosen to be lynched this round.]

[You, Technic, find yourself on a stage. Everyone is looking at you.]

[Do you confess?]

[...It's a horrifying memory, one he knows only from the perspective of one of those two risked teams. There was never any way to break it. Never any way to truly win. It was cruel and torturous.

But he still squares his shoulders, digging his nails into his palms as he steps forward to confess.

To try to change what happened would only be torture.]

[The vines come, they wrap around you, and the teams are still up, still going to DIE without any mercy, and it's guilt and horror, and you already hate yourself, but you could deal, you could deal, you could fool yourself into thinking you could deal-]

[Except it keeps going. Epona confesses, and it would be a lie to say part of you hadn't predicted that, that they would cave under your confession, that maybe it was a hope to end the game more quickly even if thought filled you with self loathing, but when you could have dealt before, but not now, because it doesn't end.]

[It doesn't end it doesn't end it doesn't end and you have started a chain reaction of people refusing, or breaking rules, and everyone is dying dying dying and it's EVERYONE and it's all your fault, because you see it now. You see it's in the rules now, and you should have seen BEFORE, but you DIDN'T.]

[You see everyone die, see all the people you KILLED because of your own incompetence and fear.]

[He has to actively fight against that rush of emotions, detach himself and ground into his own emotions with gritted teeth. She might not have known, but NOBODY knew, EVERYONE was fooled...]

Goddamit, Roxy, it wasn't your fault!!!!!

It was.

[And oh look, there she is, sitting on the ground amongst all the dead, vine covered bodies, staring at them all with dead eyes.]

Like hell it was!

[SOMEONE'S MAD but it's a passionate anger out of hurt and fear, knowing that this line of thought will just dig her into a grave and bury her alive with guilt.]

Don't tell yourself such stupid things, you idiot! You're not some all-seeing psychic! You didn't know! NONE of us knew! Don't go convincing yourself you had any fault in this when all you did was take the first step!

You are NOT a killer, Roxy!!

[She flinches.]

I'm not supposed to be. I'm not supposed to be a killer, it's not who I am, but...but they...

Us dying was not preventable, Roxy! As much as we all wanted it, someone had to die for that damned Echo to be satisfied. Even if you had stayed quiet and played along, how many people would have been killed?? It was rigged no matter what we did, you can't talk yourself out of that---!

[Augh, you know what.

Biting back a swear before falling to his knees in front of her and GRASPING her. Anger is his push now, his fuel past the fear.]

You couldn't save them, I know you couldn't save them, and goddammit, I know it hurts to see it again. But the only person who hasn't forgiven you is you, you idiot.

[Burying his face in her hair]

I forgive you. I forgive you, Roxy. Please. Find some forgiveness for yourself.

[It's like a shock because YOU DON'T TOUCH ME ANYMORE, but here you are. Touching me. You're hugging me and yelling and it's all THERE. In his words, in the movements of his body, and the fact he's DOING this.]

[She's still, eyes wide, staring over his shoulder in shock because how. How, how, how could anyone forgive her, she hurt so many, she knew games, and it was HIS team she hurt directly, but he still]

[Still]

[She sobs. After Cry Wolf, she refused to take the comfort. This time, her comes up to cling to him instead.]

[It's better than emptiness or looking at herself through such deadened eyes. He won't let her go. Not until she's cried it all out.]

[She cries and cries for a good long while. It was a lot of guilt she was hiding from others for quite a long time, after all.]

[And suddenly you're back out on the streets again, with your new Carapacian friend.]

[You also have twelve foot tall robot firing a rocket at you. Nothing like SO COOL and OH GOD WHY at once, huh?]

[FANBOY INTERNAL SCREECHING

ROBOTS AND ROCKETS AAAAA

But... but this thing is trying to kill us THAT'S NICE. Pulling that shield back out and holding tight to his Carapacian buddy as he tries to dodge the rocket via flying.]

[You dodge the rockets, but the ROBOT IS PURSUING YOU.]

[Okay, as much as he HATES doing this to such a beautiful piece of craftmanship:

STILL FLYING but trying to focus the excitement he has on seeing this devilishly handsome and dangerous creation, send it like weighted chains on top of it, restraining it down. HE WILL COME SCAVENGE YOU FOR SCIENCE LATER IF HE CAN, DON'T YOU DARE GO ANYWHERE. :D :D :D :D :D]

Edited 2015-01-26 04:19 (UTC)

[...you nerd.]

[WELL, THOSE ARE CERTAINLY SOME POWERFUL CHAINS OF NERDITUDE, SO YEAH.]

[THAT WORKS.]

[Roll a ten sider, no repeating numbers.]

[VICTORY AND YET I'M SO SORRY SIR ROBOT I REALLY HOPE I DIDN'T BREAK ANYTHING IMPORTANT THAT I CAN OTHERWISE STUDY LATER.

ahem

8!]

[Flashes. Faces, people.]

[Zelos, so frustrating, you know you've missed so much, but you're trying to understand, there has to be a way you can understand him, give him what he needs, and in a way that would stop breaking him in the process.]

[Sapphire, who you know is hurting, but she learned the truth, and she won't tell you, says you've been through enough.]

[Otacon who always looks down on himself and it seems like you can never get through those barriers.]

[Technic who you've realized shares so many of the same feelings you do, but he never listens, never let's himself be helped, and you've seen where that goes, but it's like Zelos, you can't reach out in a way that will let him reach back.]

[Hydra and Sparrow and you're afraid to tell them the truth, afraid that they'll do what Sapphire did, treat you like glass when that's not what you want, never what you want, and it's more important than anything else that they don't. You can't take the idea of someone so important looking at you with eyes like those.]

[Over and over, people you can't quite reach out in the way they need, and people pull back when you open up, and it's not what you want it's not what you want it's not what you want]

[You're by the Cove, at the edge of Kyriakos.]

[And there's Roxy, sitting at the edge of the void, staring at a book, tapping the page with her pen.]

[Well, he REALLY gets some of these. H-hahah, Hydra. Yep. Yep, he... understands that.

But once again, those feelings directed at him come full circle like a slap to the face. The martini glass, the voice spoken when he first entered Rage in its entirety... and now here.

...

It's mocking, almost, how he realizes that the advice he wants to give her would be advice he would hate to hear himself.

So he stays quiet, walking up and nudging her leg gently with the toe of his boot.]

[This is what happens when you are DESTINY.]

[She looks up and she has such a....tired, almost defeated look on her face.]

...sup.

[She looks down at the book again.]

Hey, come on. Don't give me that look.

[There's a gentle resignation to the words, despite the tease.]

You mind if I sit with you?

[She shrugged.] If you want.

[Plopping himself down next to her, then. Closer than the phobia usually allows, but goddammit he will milk this as much as he can, if it will continue to help this heart out.]

You look like you've got a lot on your mind.

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