thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

[She flinches.]

I'm not supposed to be. I'm not supposed to be a killer, it's not who I am, but...but they...

Us dying was not preventable, Roxy! As much as we all wanted it, someone had to die for that damned Echo to be satisfied. Even if you had stayed quiet and played along, how many people would have been killed?? It was rigged no matter what we did, you can't talk yourself out of that---!

[Augh, you know what.

Biting back a swear before falling to his knees in front of her and GRASPING her. Anger is his push now, his fuel past the fear.]

You couldn't save them, I know you couldn't save them, and goddammit, I know it hurts to see it again. But the only person who hasn't forgiven you is you, you idiot.

[Burying his face in her hair]

I forgive you. I forgive you, Roxy. Please. Find some forgiveness for yourself.

[It's like a shock because YOU DON'T TOUCH ME ANYMORE, but here you are. Touching me. You're hugging me and yelling and it's all THERE. In his words, in the movements of his body, and the fact he's DOING this.]

[She's still, eyes wide, staring over his shoulder in shock because how. How, how, how could anyone forgive her, she hurt so many, she knew games, and it was HIS team she hurt directly, but he still]

[Still]

[She sobs. After Cry Wolf, she refused to take the comfort. This time, her comes up to cling to him instead.]

[It's better than emptiness or looking at herself through such deadened eyes. He won't let her go. Not until she's cried it all out.]

[She cries and cries for a good long while. It was a lot of guilt she was hiding from others for quite a long time, after all.]

[And suddenly you're back out on the streets again, with your new Carapacian friend.]

[You also have twelve foot tall robot firing a rocket at you. Nothing like SO COOL and OH GOD WHY at once, huh?]

[FANBOY INTERNAL SCREECHING

ROBOTS AND ROCKETS AAAAA

But... but this thing is trying to kill us THAT'S NICE. Pulling that shield back out and holding tight to his Carapacian buddy as he tries to dodge the rocket via flying.]

[You dodge the rockets, but the ROBOT IS PURSUING YOU.]

[Okay, as much as he HATES doing this to such a beautiful piece of craftmanship:

STILL FLYING but trying to focus the excitement he has on seeing this devilishly handsome and dangerous creation, send it like weighted chains on top of it, restraining it down. HE WILL COME SCAVENGE YOU FOR SCIENCE LATER IF HE CAN, DON'T YOU DARE GO ANYWHERE. :D :D :D :D :D]

Edited 2015-01-26 04:19 (UTC)

[...you nerd.]

[WELL, THOSE ARE CERTAINLY SOME POWERFUL CHAINS OF NERDITUDE, SO YEAH.]

[THAT WORKS.]

[Roll a ten sider, no repeating numbers.]

[VICTORY AND YET I'M SO SORRY SIR ROBOT I REALLY HOPE I DIDN'T BREAK ANYTHING IMPORTANT THAT I CAN OTHERWISE STUDY LATER.

ahem

8!]

[Flashes. Faces, people.]

[Zelos, so frustrating, you know you've missed so much, but you're trying to understand, there has to be a way you can understand him, give him what he needs, and in a way that would stop breaking him in the process.]

[Sapphire, who you know is hurting, but she learned the truth, and she won't tell you, says you've been through enough.]

[Otacon who always looks down on himself and it seems like you can never get through those barriers.]

[Technic who you've realized shares so many of the same feelings you do, but he never listens, never let's himself be helped, and you've seen where that goes, but it's like Zelos, you can't reach out in a way that will let him reach back.]

[Hydra and Sparrow and you're afraid to tell them the truth, afraid that they'll do what Sapphire did, treat you like glass when that's not what you want, never what you want, and it's more important than anything else that they don't. You can't take the idea of someone so important looking at you with eyes like those.]

[Over and over, people you can't quite reach out in the way they need, and people pull back when you open up, and it's not what you want it's not what you want it's not what you want]

[You're by the Cove, at the edge of Kyriakos.]

[And there's Roxy, sitting at the edge of the void, staring at a book, tapping the page with her pen.]

[Well, he REALLY gets some of these. H-hahah, Hydra. Yep. Yep, he... understands that.

But once again, those feelings directed at him come full circle like a slap to the face. The martini glass, the voice spoken when he first entered Rage in its entirety... and now here.

...

It's mocking, almost, how he realizes that the advice he wants to give her would be advice he would hate to hear himself.

So he stays quiet, walking up and nudging her leg gently with the toe of his boot.]

[This is what happens when you are DESTINY.]

[She looks up and she has such a....tired, almost defeated look on her face.]

...sup.

[She looks down at the book again.]

Hey, come on. Don't give me that look.

[There's a gentle resignation to the words, despite the tease.]

You mind if I sit with you?

[She shrugged.] If you want.

[Plopping himself down next to her, then. Closer than the phobia usually allows, but goddammit he will milk this as much as he can, if it will continue to help this heart out.]

You look like you've got a lot on your mind.

Always do.

Why I'm out here. Helps organize thoughts. [Gonna start chewing on the end of her pen now.]

More than usual, I mean.

I don't mean to interrupt you.

[A pause, watching her gnaw the end of her pen.]

Do you mind if I ask you something, though?

[She waves a hand, gestures for him to go on, and it's...obvious. She's very tired.]

...Hey...

[Gently catching that hand before she can lower it.]

Roxy... I know you don't feel well right now. But this is important.

Please, look at me.

What?

[She looks up and]

[Pause.]

[Staring at his hand.]

[Raising a brow.

Yes, he's touching you. WHAT VOODOO WITCHCRAFT IS AT WORK HERE spoilers its you.]

If you could give people the chance to understand things about you, just how you try to understand things about them, how far would you go?

....

[She sets down the pen.]

Depends.

I want people to understand me.

But I'm sick of people treatin' me like glass or like I can't help 'cause of it. They learn one horrible thing and it starts. They learn more, and...well.

Yeah. Trust me, I understand.

But-- Mmm.

[Another pause as he considers something.]

...

Did I tell you about Hydra getting upset at me the other week?

No.

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