thevoidsdarkhorse | Heart Game (Continued)

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From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

Sometimes.

Do you want to understand?

From:

forthemackerel

I do. Whatever it takes, if it'll help.

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

....red blood.

From:

forthemackerel

[ well, that's going to lead to him touching the red blood, as if it were a command ]

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

[You touched the red blood and suddenly there is knowledge in your head. You’re the last. You were always the last. The last of the human race dead centuries before, the last of your Neighborhood that burned down, the last of your universe, twice over, once from the Red Miles, another from the Reapers.]

[The last of your friends, of your family, with no more cheats, saves, tricks, or alternatives.]

[Forever the last one standing, little rogue Roxy.]

[Growing up on islands of graves and seas of blood.]

[Fifth time's the charm for you to really be the last of your whole reality. Fifth time to make it stick with no one left to save.]

[Finally, Roxy changes and you see it. The small wounds through her chest, and the bigger one just below her heart. The burns, blue lips and finger tips. The marks of vines around her body, and the pieces of her that just seem...missing.]

[Her eyes no longer yellow, but an eerie, blank white.]

From:

forthemackerel

[ left speechless for a while as the magnitude of all this sinks in. being new here, he hasn't had to deal with trauma games or remembering losing anyway. all he's been told is how his world has been destroyed, but he has no memories of it. she has the memories of the pain and loss and seeing everyone gone. and now he can feel it from her, too.

the problem is, she didn't just go through it once. numerous times, reliving this. all those painful memories locked inside. for all the fixing he has tried before now, this is an area that he doesn't know of any way to help or change. part of him wants to just try to destroy all these memories and erase it, but he knows that isn't the way to do it. that destroying this would destroy a part of Roxy that shouldn't disappear... no matter how painful and terrible it is.

at least. he's fairly sure of that. none of it makes sense. none of the things he's experienced. the weight of this room is heavy on him, especially with how exhausted he already is and all he can do is fall to his knees right now ]

This...

[ he can't speak. his voice is betraying him right now ]

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

...

[She sits up. Tilts her head.]

....

[She then stands, walking over, and taking the thermos from him if he'll let her.]

From:

forthemackerel

[ yeah, he won't stop her from doing that, just watching her blankly, at the moment ]

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

Do you want this, or do you want time to sort it out yourself?

[Her voice is....gentle, almost kind.]

From:

forthemackerel

You never had that easy of an option, did you?

[ he sounds so delicate, so fragile, just trying to find that sense that was driving him before ]

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

No, not really.

Nothing beyond what Life could manage, anyway.

From:

forthemackerel

Then it doesn't seem fair.

Even with that understanding, it still isn't the same. What you went through was worse.

[ glances at the thermos, then at her ]

Would you like some of it?

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

[She shakes her head.]

This room isn't about change. It won't do me any good.

From:

forthemackerel

It's only about us understanding you?

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

Yes.

From:

forthemackerel

...That must be hard for you.

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

It is.

I don't make it easy, admittedly, but it's natural when you exist, right? That you want to be understood.

From:

forthemackerel

[ shifting to slowly stand up, but it feels hard to do so right now ]

Do you do that to protect people? Or is it to protect yourself? The not make it easy part, I mean.

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

We've lost track, honestly. Might be both.

From:

forthemackerel

I imagine this place doesn't help. Everyone here has lost their world, but they don't understand how it feels. Not like you do. Until now, I didn't even fully realize the gravity of it.

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

[Nods.] It's...diff, being told it's a thing.

Then seein' it with your own eyes.

Almost knocked off Vetoed's head off 'cause of that argument.

[Sitting down across from him.]

From:

forthemackerel

I can't even imagine how that feels. Being told that.

[ looks straight at her ]

When I felt that, from the blood... All I wanted to do was erase it. Try to destroy it, like I had in other rooms. But then that'd be trying to destroy you, wouldn't it?

From:

thevoidsdarkhorse

Infuriating and...isolating.

[She nods.]

It would be. I wouldn't allow it.

From:

forthemackerel

If I had tried and you stopped me, I wouldn't have blamed you. No matter what you'd done.

[ undertone of an apology in there, for that thought he had ]